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Join the spiritual journey into the life and mind of the Master of the Universe
-Flaming Jewish Mom Says "it's ass kick!"
-Horny Mormon Mom Says "it'll learn u somethin new!"
-Your Mom Says "he must be some sort of mad pimp"
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well, if you folks remebered from my old blogger, i posted some pics up of my car, the green camry, well, that car is no more,i am now in the age of RWD luxury
see my old car my automatic 4 door FF v6(uuugh)

now its me 2 door automatic(baby steps first) FR!! i6(woot woot)
i got my 1992 lexus sc300 Friday August 16, 2002. unfortunatly, because of a body shop BSing me i it sat around for 6 months and i took it to this other place on January 3, 2003
this is what it looked like


and heres my car after 4 months in the damn shop waiting for parts






posted by Jon @
3:09 PM
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Friday, May 02, 2003  |
well, i've found out that i can host my pics for this blog from imagestation. so here we go, after almost a whole year of nothingness, the new and revived yourmomsuckedmyblogspot.com!!!!!!i i posted up most of my old posts, but i lost a couple of them. well, jon's back and he's black! are u ready?
posted by Jon @
2:57 PM
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Well, none of my pics are working anymore because i uploaded them to my aol ftp, but since i canceled my aol, u can probably guess that it no longer exists, so i'm moving to an actual website, now i'll have an excuse for not updating as much, u cant see the dates! hahahaha, now all u people who like the old posts dont have to worry, i copied most of the old posts and i will put them on the new site tomorro.... dont worry, the url is just as pimp as this one, the new one can be found at the following link
www.JonWei.RulesTheWeb.com
if u dont know what a link is, or if u dont know where to click, move the mouse cursor(the arrow for clicking) over the phrase "click me" below, and click it
CLICK ME
posted by Jon @
6:16 AM
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Sunday, July 28, 2002  |
i could think of nothing to talk about when i posted this picture... basically it speaks for itself... brenton "the pilgarlic"(see Talking Dirty with Proffesor Jon) getting his ass handed to him by me, Jon, "master of the universe", the fro is strong in this one... arite, enjoy
posted by Jon @
11:38 PM
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Tuesday, April 30, 2002  |
Talking Dirty with Professor Jon
our south african professor with a fro teaches the joys of depraved english from the top of the world trade center in new york, you can purchase the whole dictionary of depraved english for 18 dollars, distributed by St. Martins Press
Bdolotic - Prone to farting
Blissom - To copulate with an ewe
Copremesis - The condition of being so constipated that one vomits ones own feces
Dasypygal - Hairry-assed
Irrumate - To insert ones penis into ones mouth
Jumentous - Smelling like horse urine
Keck - To vomit without success
Meable - Easily penetrated
Nisus - The exertion involved in defecating
Pilgarlic - a sorry-looking bald person (see brenton or steve)
Plooky - Covered with pimples
Scatophage(hahaha... scat) - Eater of excretement (see chris dejesus)
Sharny - Befouled with dung
Smatchet - A small nasty person (see anna or megan)
Thank you for learning with jon, coming soon - Grandmaster Wei
posted by Jon @
9:41 PM
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Monday, April 08, 2002  |
Jon-Blog Stats: The Odds
the cold hard numbers for the more ass kicking sex
you'll cheat on your significant other 1 in 4.8
you'll win the lottery 1 in 13,000,000
your 1st marriage will end in divorce 1 in 2
your 2nd marriage will end in divorce 1 in 1.7
you'll be fired 1 in 25
you'll be fired if your name is brenton ho 1 in 1.25
you'll have a heart attack 1 in 21
you'll go to prison 1 in 11.1
you'll get prostate cancer 1 in 6
you'll get creamed crossing the street 1 in 50,000
you'll be murdered 1 in 7692
you'll die of cancer 1 in 4
the numbers behind the fairer, softer, and better smelling sex
you will cheat on your significant other 1 in 7.5
you'll suffer from clinical depression 1 in 15.1
you'll kill yourself 1 in 44.2
you'll be a victim of violence at work 1 in 144
you'll have ur butt oogled by jon(if your pretty) 1 in 1
jon will agree to "get it on" with u if your a hottie 100 in 1
posted by Jon @
3:32 AM
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Wednesday, April 03, 2002  |
wow, i havent posted for a couple days, i'd like to apologize to all the bored people out there that actually read this crap, well, to make up for it, i'm adding a new section, food reviews by our very own award winning swedish chef, Jun... cuz if u were swedish, and u tried saying Jon, you'd probably say Jun...
hellu, I'm jun und i'll be-a fuud cheff fur tudey. Bork bork bork! i'm frum svedee, thet mekes me-a svedeesh. du u leeke-a feesh? heheheheha... feesh... feesh, puny, heep, heep-hup, heep-hup-ununymuoos. Um gesh dee bork, bork!.. demn yuoo! yuoo geefe-a heem ell zee iesy oones, i lufe-a thet mufeee-a, getteeng beck oon zee soobject, greee felley runch steshun hes ess keecking selmun, it's vuud cuuked, und zeere's a creem sooce-a tu poot oon it, it's fery guud, und zeey hefe-a mungu geletu. yuoo moost try it. Um de hur de hur de hur. thet's it i'm dune-a guudbye
posted by Jon @
12:05 PM
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Wednesday, March 27, 2002  |
hey bored people of the world, man what a long day yesterday was, i feel hung over... or maybe this is what it feels like after u get beat down, either way it isnt cool. my parents are getting upset about me sleeping at 3 am, they say its unhealthy, but hell, if u think about it, in the 1800's they thought masterbation was unhealthy and made u go blind, look at the human race now!. shows how much those victorian bastards and bastardettes(is this a real word?) knew. oh crap i'm late gotta run!
posted by Jon @
12:12 PM
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Saturday, March 23, 2002  |
trust me, i'm not hiding anything down here
posted by Jon @
1:01 AM
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Thursday, March 21, 2002  |
Defining Jon's Vocabulary "Joncabulary"
Mad Pimp - Someone who is so ass kick, they dance on the boundary between ass kick and something so cool, i have yet to invent a word for it (example: Jon ordered a set of lug nuts, the company screws up and sends him a set of 19x9/11 autocouture supreme’s wrapped in bridgestone potenza s03 tires, he must be a mad pimp)
Ass Kick - Something so kick ass that u have to invert it (works on the same basic concept of "it's so good it's bad") example: that 1300hp gte sc300 with the intercooler the size of a large farm animal was ass kick.
posted by Jon @
1:51 AM
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Wednesday, March 20, 2002  |
holy crap, i got this bloggy thing to work, ass kick huh? well, if ur reading this, then u must be bored outta ur mind, well, to introduce myself, i am Jon Wei, i am the master of the universe, some.....actually many people..... rude people fail to acknowledge my being the master of the universe, i am chinese, in saying that u should already be able to conclude that i am far superior to the lowly korean people. they think they're all cool and stuff, but i will systematically exterminate all of them.. i sentence all koreans to death by bufu!(thats when they get buttfucked to death) ewwwwwwwww hahahaha then after that i am going to have myself an ice cream sandwich. yes... mmmmm ice cream sandwic, anyways, wat else is there to tell about me, hmm, i like cars, does anybody want to buy my old car? i hate it, but i did put alotta time and money into iti'll post some pics up here when i find out how up. well, i dont know what time the stupid blogger is gonna say, but it is 1:13am March 20th and i'm tired, so i shall sleep now, good day.
posted by Jon @
1:24 AM
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